Christeen Street Studios Weekly Blog
Hello all my wonderful readers, hoping you all are creating today!
Today is a very somber yet distinct day for me; it is what would be my late sisters 40th birthday. Her name is Nicole, she passed away nearly 5 years ago this November, and even with therapy it does not get easier with time; it only gets, different. Needless to say, the week leading up to today has weighed heavily on my heart and mind and has shown through in my work as an artist. I honestly did not even realize it at first.
A little background, I love of making Artist Trading Cards (ATC). This is such great way to challenge myself, share my work, network, and just get to create without worrying if someone is going to buy this piece or not. There is no pressure, just to do whatever comes creatively natural to me. I put a lot into my ATC’s so they do take time and I had volunteered to make several of them so I did have plenty of work to do. Ok, so no one but my husband knows this but I end up being so fond of the ATCs that I make I started to make two of every one I do. If someone asks for something Wizard of Oz themed, I make two of them, one for them and one for me! Lol I did not always do this, but I started to make cards I knew I was not going to give away, so problem solved if I just make two of them, hahaha. Ok so anyway, as I was busy, working on several different cards at the time, my brain was able to let go and I just went on autopilot. This is where my soul takes over and my brain rests, and it is the most pure form of creativity that I have ever experienced! Really, creating from the soul, heart, subconscious, whatever it is that you call it, is the most direct reflection of the artists most inner self. I know this as I have experienced it.
The story starts when I began to create an ATC where the theme was ‘surprise me’. So I started in, not thinking, not planning, not organizing, just going, led by instinct, which if you know me, you know this is not at all like me. When I began the card it was for someone who requested to be surprised, but as I got further and further into project I realized more and more of what this was reminding me of; my late sister. She was notorious for being a lover of the color purple, and she always had these striking full brown eyes and eyelashes. This card I made without intention; a little girl angel, on a purple background, with purplish wings on purple clouds. The little angel has these full eyelashes that are so familiar.
The end of the story is of me reflecting off of the experience when I was done with the card and really stood back. All the signs were there in hindsight, but not fully realized when I was in my zone. This was my inner self speaking to me, or perhaps my inner self just speaking out, to anyone in particular. Moreover, the card is lovely, it absolutely has my touch, completely reminds me of my sis as a little girl, who is in heaven, and came from a place I cannot describe other than my soul. Lastly, I made a card with no duplicate; my subconscious knew who this card was really for the entire time. I experienced possibly the purest, rawest emotional expression an artist can have. That is powerful.
I look back on this past week, on today, my sister and it is these experiences that shape us. I wish I could have these experiences without the hurt, without the loss, but unfortunately I cannot change what has happened, so I have to embrace the fact that I am who I am today because of these things.
We grow as people because of the journeys our lives take. We grow as artists for our ability, weather to ourselves or to others, to express where that journey has taken us.
As I stare at this ATC that will forever be on my desk I leave you today with this; do not be afraid to let yourself go, to go on autopilot and let your inner creativity take over. We need this ability to express ourselves just as a singer needs to sing, or a needle needs a thing. Much love everyone, see you next week! Christeen